Arg. Frustrating.

[chibi_trillian]

I'm a miserable whore. Sorry, Kajaaaaaa! I'll write your crack sooooon!

Title: Misunderstandings
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG.
Summary: For jadeprince's request for dysfunctional Zoro/Sanji angst--hopefully not too much with the suck. Crossposted to onepieceyaoi. It's a bit like watching a pair of blindfolded people reach for each other and miss over and over again...


You’re so selfish.

You’re uncultured and boorish. You can wear the same clothes for a week running and not care. You sleep too much, eat too much, drink too much, train too much, everything too much. All that’s not really important, though—that’s just you being your idiot self.

What bothers me is that I look into your eyes—at breakfast, over a drink, hell, even after sex—and I see nothing.

No, that’s not true. It’s not nothing. It’s just…you only used to have that flat, hard look when the bandanna came out. But you push yourself harder and harder, force yourself to cut away everything nonessential when you’re fighting. Eventually, some of it quit coming back afterwards. You’re quieter now, more focused. Stronger, like a diamond inside.

They say pressure is what makes diamonds. Diamonds can cut anything. Diamonds don’t scratch, don’t break, don’t bleed.

Don’t love.

Mihawk had eyes like yours are now—sharp and hard and looking at everything like it was a target. Like his soul itself was the sword he cut with, and the one he swung around was just for decoration.

A sword is long, and hard…

…and so goddamn cold.

****

You’re so annoying.

You fuss, you flit, you get upset over the stupidest things. You keep spoiling the girls, even though the entire crew knows what side of your bread you usually butter. You talk too much, try too hard…and you keep asking me for things I can’t afford to give you.

You’re strong and quick and those kicks of yours are nothing to fool with. You can take care of yourself most of the time. You’d probably beat my skull in if I ever implied otherwise.

But eventually, I’m going to run into somebody that I can take, but you can’t. And eventually, one of those people is going to be low enough and desperate enough to try taking out the person or people I look like I’m most attached to in hopes of weakening me.

Six targets is too many for that tactic to work before I kill the fucker for attacking my nakama.

One isn’t.

I don’t want to see a handkerchief draped over your still face. I don’t want to lose anyone else like that ever again. She was enough. If you…because of me…

I wouldn’t break. I don’t think I can break anymore. But I would crack somewhere inside. I might recover, but there’d still be a flaw there where you used to be. And everyone knows that a repaired sword can shatter if pushed too hard—especially if hit in the same place it was damaged before.

I’m keeping you safe this way. If I was a bit stronger, I’d push you away entirely.

Why the hell can’t you understand that?

Stupid idiot cook.

Comments

[jadeprince.livejournal.com]

I love you so much. PERFECT. Just... yeah. Ungh. Thank you. I'm not sure why I love to torture myself with that sort of ache, the sort of closed up throat this sort of writing gives me, but I love it and it's so wonderfully, horribly raw. Thank you, darling. *nuzz*

[mango-32.livejournal.com]

Damn, just...damn *bites lip*

I liked the style this was written in. With Zoro and Sanji speaking of each other. It's refreshing. And I ABSOLUTELY love your reasonings. Utterly perfect. (I couldn't think of any other reason that's better for these two.) *hearts*

This is so touching and heart-wretching and...definitely one of the best ZoSan I've read. Damn.

[strawhatstars.livejournal.com]

That was brilliant, I love how you showed how they both felt, and the looking at the eyes. Eyes are so beautiful and can show so much.

<3

(I'm sorry I can never think of anything decent to say about your stories.)

[ptps.livejournal.com]

Shit.

*stares at screen*

I love the feelings coming off this, especially in the Sanji POV, and Zoro's. So sad. "A sword is long, and hard… …and so goddamn cold." <-- so much love for this line. TT b

[angstymcgoth.livejournal.com]

D'AWWwwwwwww--they're so thick. It's adorable, with a side helping of depressing.

Now I have the urge to smack someone. Preferably both of them.

[yuki-kokoro.livejournal.com]

TWO IN 24 HOURS!?! FROM TEH CHIBI_TRILLIAN!?! You are so good to your fandom.

This is gorgeous logic, gorgeous reasoning and just all-around pretty writing. Very true to their characters and an issue that is skirted around a lot in fanfiction.

"I wouldn’t break. I don’t think I can break anymore. But I would crack somewhere inside." Very much love of this line, as well as all the other comparisons of Zoro to a sword.

[kala-aira.livejournal.com]

Ah…what to say? “I really liked it” doesn’t seem to be good enough, but I can’t seem to word anything appropriate. I loved the style. Sanji’s POV was so sad and longing…and Zoro’s reason for the coldness
Six targets is too many for that tactic to work before I kill the fucker for attacking my nakama.
One isn’t.
The fact that he’s keeping the love Sanji wants to see inside makes me squirm with angst love. (And makes me slap’em both in the head.)
Awesome work!

[vampire-otaku.livejournal.com]

*flails* Ah, the angst!

Your comment summed this up perfectly: It's a bit like watching a pair of blindfolded people reach for each other and miss over and over again... They both want/need something, but just can't seem to understand the other's position. And I feel like they are so IC as well.

<3

[missashlee28.livejournal.com]

To me there is nothing more enjoyable than reading something that brings emotion to the table. I love the fact that after reading this I just felt what you were trying to get across. Absolutely perfect. And the last three lines are my favorite. Fantastic. ;) Thank you.

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

It's a bit like watching a pair of blindfolded people reach for each other and miss over and over again...

Exactly like it, guhhh T___T Well, no, Zoro seems to have something of a clue at least, but more like he's actively trying to avoid the hand reaching out to him. Such an immense dorkus, that Zoro, as usual--heart's in the right place, but damn it all, it's Sanji -_-

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

ANGSSTTTTTTTT ;_; This is so touching, poor Zoro and Sanji... *loves fic*

[keakun.livejournal.com]

I'm not a fan of first person pov writing style, but I abselotly loved this fic. The contrast of thoughts and emotions, it shows their personalities out right, and it's dead on.

Wonderfully written, keep up the great work.

Kea

[2metaldog.livejournal.com]

*sniff* You just feel so bad for those two here. And you can understand why things are the way they are. Still, it's enough to make you want to shut the two of them in a room until they admit they care....

Should they have tons of hot sex while being locked in said room... all the better. Very nice pull on the heart strings.

[shiome.livejournal.com]

The angst breaks my chippery heart, but... it's so well written and fitting. *content sigh*

[kiriyama-killer.livejournal.com]

I loved all the emotions conveyed and the reasoning behind it. I just loved it in general.

[orange-smaug.livejournal.com]

This is so good. And depressing. But good.

(The first thought I had was "silly boys" which is something Nami probably thinks on a distressingly regular basis, though Nami's words would probably be considerably more...caustic :D).

[geuna.livejournal.com]

It is very true, though. Ussop and Nami find themselves in that sort of situation all the time, fearing that as their enemies gets stronger, they will only get in the way. They live with that fear everyday. Sanji, being such a stronger person, probably doesn't have that fear, despite realizing that there are people out their stronger than all of them. He would go charging in anyway if he really thought he needed to. I mean, Sanji gets stronger everyday, but he doesn't push himself like Zoro does. Hell, NO ONE takes it as seriously as Zoro (usually). The death of a friend effected him so badly as a kid, the death of a lover as an adult wouldn't be any better. At the same time, Zoro needs to get it through HIS skull exactly what he's doing to the people around him for the sake of his dream.

I say I would LOVE to see a follow-up of this. What if the worse-cases situation did happen, what would be the outcome? Would Sanji realize what Zoro had been trying to do all along? Or would it all end in tragedy? T__T So sad...

[geekchic07.livejournal.com]

This was really cool. I'm not usually a fan of first person but this was really well done. Good read! :)

[crystal-lilly.livejournal.com]

Amazing. Simply amazing.

I love the pure emotion radiating from this fic. You are very strong with words. It also just makes me want to hug them both, then pop 'em on the back of the head just because they are both being so dense.

It would be interesting to see a continuation of this theme... did they manage to work it out? Or did something tragic happen... and if so, did the emotions explode as well?

If I was a bit stronger, I'd push you away entirely.

*sigh* So annoying, and yet so In Character. I truly enjoyed this story very much.

[bumpgrrl.livejournal.com]

gah - i love/hate the people who think strength comes only from being isolated and enduring the pain on your own *cough* *Sasuke* and can't realize that there is a strength in the desire to protect nakama, a greater strength in community.

It pains me to think of Zoro as one of them too. But the Sanji bit was just beautiful - he recognizes that being the best but sacrificing being human just isn't worth it.

I’m keeping you safe this way. If I was a bit stronger, I’d push you away entirely.

Why the hell can’t you understand that?
Because you're WRONG!

If you were stronger, you wouldn't be afraid of losing him, you'd accept him as part of your life, and a strong one at that. You'd respect his decisions.

...*realizes she just got way carried away by the excellent characterizations presented in this fic* -- good work :)

[nike-victory.livejournal.com]

Ah, damn. This was so good that my mind immediately started plotting a sequel. It got as far as: Sanji felt his face twitch though the emotions jogging in his head. He sure as hell wasn't about to cry, but damn if Zoro's pushing him away like that didn't make him feel like a cheap whore. With a curse, he pushed himself up and started getting dressed. "Oi, Ero-cook. Where the hell are you going in the middle of the night?" "Out," Sanji snapped.

Then I realized what the hell I was doing. *blush*

[ember-alda.livejournal.com]

I love ZoSan in all it's snarky tension filled glory, but reading something where you get to see how they think and work just makes me jfkdslgwhavjdmn... ^_^ And plus, introspective Zoro hits my dartboard.

[bumpgrrl.livejournal.com]

Like his soul itself was the sword he cut with, and the one he swung around was just for decoration.
- ooooooooo. somehow i missed that line on the first read-through. words cannot express.

...I would crack somewhere inside. I might recover, but there’d still be a flaw there where you used to be. And everyone knows that a repaired sword can shatter if pushed too hard—especially if hit in the same place it was damaged before.

I’m keeping you safe this way. If I was a bit stronger, I’d push you away entirely.
aha! I just caught the source of my rage in my earlier post - he's not keeping Sanji safe, he's keeping *himself* safe! Lying fool!

[anyjen.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, but sad and painful...

How do you manage to write such great things in so few words?