Ramblings From All Over...

I've been listening to "Shut Up and Sleep With Me" near nonstop for a few days now (thnxmuch to tarvosio for giving it to me--it's your fault if I get weird looks for singing it in public). I'd love to see an Ishida/Ichigo Bleach AMV to it...or a Yohji/Aya AMV...or really any AMV. Some doubtless exist, but dialup is so the sucks. I'm not like the sibling unit--I'm not crazy enough to download AMVs en mass over a dialup line. The sibling unit has a spare 40 GB hard drive JUST for her AMVs, and leaves her computer downloading them when she goes to sleep or to school. She snitches the highspeed connection to download One Piece fansubs, but mere AMVs need only a dialup line. I, on the other hand, have people actually call me on my home phone line. So I collect burned copies of the best of her collection when I visit for Christmas. I need to ask her to bring her laptop when she comes up for my graduation in a few weeks so that I can pick its brain...

OMFG I graduate in a few weeks. A. Few. Weeks. As in, I only have to flip one page on the calendar to see my graduation date. As in, the days when I can use my student ID to get into movie for cheap are numbered, and the number is rather small. I have to look for an actual job that may require me to be competent at something other than bullshitting in a few weeks, and bullshitting is about the only thing that college has really trained me for. I have to look for a job in a shrinking job market and a self-destructing economy. *massive panic attack*

Urg...breathing is good. I'll live, and things will work out. They always do. I'd love to get a job where I make ~$30,000 a year. That'd be a bit over twice what I live off of now, and it seems to be what a lot of entry level bio positions are offering. I'd settle for less. Happily. Unfortunately, I interview poorly. I get nervous, and tend to do the ultimate sin in interviewing situations--tell the truth. I'm abysmal at brown-nosing, I don't like lying about my skills and competence levels, and am definitely nowhere near hot enough to get away with either and still get the job. About the only way I'll get a job is if the HR manager is an otaku and happened to notice that I listed "Treasurer and Founding Member, Villa Julie Anime Club" under Extracurricular Activities on my resume. I'm always going to lose job opportunities to people who are more weasely than I am unless I rehearse my lies ahead of time. It's so not fair. Urg.

In happier non-panic-inducing news, Steve got into law school! W00t! His intelligence shines like a lighthouse in the darkness, compared to my tiny candle of intellect which will be lucky to pass Bioinformatics.

In not-so-happy but still non-panic-inducing news, I forgot to do my taxes. It's alright, though--I'm so far below the poverty line and make so little that I don't have to file and when I do it takes me half an hour to do my taxes, twenty minutes of which is spent trying to figure out how to report my scholarship overages. The IRS does not give a shit about my poor ass. I'm not worth going after. I have no car they can repo, no house to seize, no credit card to freeze, no debt to my name, and $70 in my bank account. I am a dust mote in the financial world.

I spent last night helping Grandma Harriet from my pagan group move. She's divorcing her husband of 27 years, and that took a lot of strength. She was worried that no one would come, and actually cried when so many people showed up--practically the entire pagan group. I relearned that dressers are very heavy, and hurt when they land on your foot, but better your foot than concrete when you're moving someone else's stuff. It was worth it. Grandma Harriet was actually smiling towards the end of the night.

Trains are OMFG loud when they pass twenty feet from the apartment where you are spending the night and then slam on the brakes with a sound like thunder. Wakes you up in a big old hurry at 4am, especially when repeated at two minute intervals for the next hour. plotbunny_tiff slept right through it. Lucky woman.

plotbunny_tiff still has Ethan held for punishment. My head is surprisingly quiet without him starting shit with everybody and their mom. I'm starting to miss him, though--Tiff has told me that he has a swirly-rainbow dream!plotbunny attached to his head at the moment, and I'll get him back when the plotbunny is done with him. Mou.

...

Ethan is back, and he has been very soundly punished. plotbunny_tiff gave him a VERY bad nightmare. He's actually being quiet for once, and Aaron's trying to get him to talk again. All Ethan is doing is clinging to Aaron like if he lets go he'll disappear. Aaron would think it was romantic, if he weren't so worried.

I have been contracted to write of the Nelon smut. I haven't written Magic Knights stuff in a long time. Hell, I haven't even written smut, period, in a long time.

Cleaning my apartment is like eating an elephant--best done one bite at a time. It needs to be clean before graduation. I think I've found over a hundred CDs, and I've only cleaned part of the living room.

I need to do the Biochemistry homework that I forgot to do for Friday. I have a headache now, so it won't be much fun.

I had a talk with my mother today about graduation and what comes after. After I graduate, I have three weeks to find a job, or I won't be able to pay my rent. Needing at least one paycheck in the bank to pay rent, I actually have one week to find a job. I'm not looking forward to this, considering the length of time it's taken my other graduated friends to find jobs. Please, let me find a job in my field. Please, please, please. And please don't let it involve moving. My lease isn't up until August, and I like my apartment. If anyone Upstairs, Downstairs, or Sideways is listening, please let this come true. I don't want to be evicted.

I need to buy a real interview suit. What I wear to interviews now was bought piecemeal for about $50 total, and looks it.

I don't feel like going to school anymore. I want to go on vacation. I know I only have two more weeks of school and then finals, but I'm so. Damn. Tired. Senioritis sucks. How many finals do I have anyway? Bioinformatics: no final. Creative Writing: final story turned in on last day of class. Biochemistry: oh gawd, yes, a big honking scary-ass final. History and Structure of the English Language: Final is open note, no worries. Senior Seminar: I don't have a fucking clue. This class is so nebulous that I don't even know what we're doing this week, let alone on finals week. I know I have a poster presentation coming up, though.

I'm going to HFStival the day after I graduate. At this point it's closer to HFSaid, though--I was so mad when they took HFS off the air with so little warning that the DJs were surprised and replaced it with Spanish dance music. Radio in general is crap, but HFS was a bit better than most. HFS plays part time on a different station now (nights and weekends) due to a massive public "WTF?" I suppose that it's something to look forward to, but I don't have the energy to get excited about it right now.

I feel like curling up and watching anime, or reading fanfiction, or doing anything other than what I have to do.

I need to stop stress-eating and start exercising more--exercise is good for stress levels, but unfortunately requires time and energy that I lack. I refuse to pay to go to a gym, so I usually take walks. Daily walks in this area are possible, but with my current hours they must take place after dark, which isn't exactly safe. I've walked to the store at 3 am lots of times, but it's never been the brightest idea in the world.

Murr.