And there is more of the same.
Mar. 3rd, 2006 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chibi_trillianHoly shit, we've actually got a name for this blasphemy upon the name of One Piece fandom (I'll go back and retconn it in on the other chapters, because I'm evil like that). And an icon. Who loves Smoker-kins?
Title: Acquired Taste, Chapter Four: Simmer
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Smoker and Zeff suffer the consequences of stupidity. Namely, shouting and death threats.
“You had him and you let him GET AWAY?!” Hina was absolutely rigid with rage, and Smoker halfway didn’t blame her. Only halfway, though.
“What the hell else was I supposed to do? He wasn’t doing anything legally wrong, someone came out of the restaurant looking for him, and I was off duty and technically didn’t have the authority to arrest him anyway! Besides, how was I supposed to explain me being out in the streets with him instead of between the sheets with you?” he snarled, grinding his teeth around the end of his cigar. He wondered if smoking two cigars at once was feasible, because after this argument he was certainly going to feel like he needed another one.
“Hina is so Hina-angry with you that Hina can’t find the words!” Hina shrieked, voice reaching a pitch that should have had dogs all over the base howling (including Major Grawp). Roughly translated from Hina-ese, that meant “You have made a logical argument that I cannot find any holes in, but I am still irrationally upset with you. Give me a moment to smoke a cigarette and calm myself.”
Hina’s next-door barracks-neighbors, who either spoke Hina-ese very poorly or (more likely) hadn’t heard actual words, only volume, thumped on the wall. A door banged open, and someone across the hall shouted, “Will you two make up and have sex already so the rest of us can sleep?”
Hina, wrath turned towards a target she could actually kick the shit out of without it turning into smoke every time she tried to smash its nose in, stomped out to go put a hurting on some poor stupid soul who hadn’t given her her five minutes and a cigarette so she could calm down. Smoker could hear shouts of “Hina’s personal life is Hina’s business!” and “Hina will be angry if Hina wants to be!” between cries of pain. Smoker would have felt sorry for the poor girl, but she’d really brought it on herself.
After Hina had come back looking much calmer and had had her requisite cigarette, she finally asked, “If you knew you couldn’t do anything to him, why did you bother using your Logia to capture him? So desperate for dates you have to hunt them down and catch them?”
That had come a little too close to the truth. It really wasn’t encouraging when the first words that someone you fancied spoke to you were “You taste like shit.” Especially when the person complaining actually tasted really good, and you could almost feel the prickle of his goatee around your lips…back on topic. Hina was starting to look at him funny, and Smoker wondered if his eyes had actually glazed over.
“Nnn. It was stupid.” It retrospect, it really was. That wasn’t an answer, but it was all the answer he cared to give right now. “But at least I know his name now.” Onwards, to a new subject of conversation.
“Oh? Tell me.”
“His friend called it when he came out of the restaurant. It’s ‘Zeff.’ And if I know his name, I can find him again.”
****
“And where exactly were you again?” Captain Lawson was not a happy man. Actually, from the neutrality of his tone and the utter blandness of his face, he was contemplating shooting Zeff and throwing him overboard. Damn, but Zeff hated those stupid sunglasses. They kept him from getting a proper read on the man and also kept him from anticipating what he’d do in a combat situation—which was precisely what they were supposed to do.
“I was investigating a possible threat.” Investigating the inside of a Marine’s mouth, more like. Captain Lawson wasn’t finding out about that little feature of Zeff’s evening, though. “It turned out to be nothing. I wasn’t gone longer than five minutes.”
“Five minutes can make a world of difference as to whether we stay alive and free or arrested and dead. If Marines had come into that restaurant during the ‘five minutes’ you were gone, I’d be in irons and facing trial, and where would you be then?”
“Anluan would be captain, and we’d all be doomed. But it didn’t, and he’s not.” The navigator slammed her pen down. “If Zeff says he thought it was important, you should leave it be. Nothing bad came of it, and the ‘what ifs’ don’t matter. You need to trust other people more.” The special emphasis she put on the word “trust” told him that this was a longstanding argument that definitely predated his time on the crew.
Captain Lawson looked at the navigator, then back at Zeff. Zeff met him, glare for…sunglasses. Stupid sunglasses. They were mirrored too, so all you got was yourself glaring back at you.
When Lawson finally said, “Fine,” it was so quiet that Zeff almost missed it. He wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t relieved, though—he didn’t relish trying to swim back to shore, especially if he was as perforated as things that Captain Lawson got angry with tended to be. He shot a quick look of gratitude at the navigator (who winked at him) and went to go work on lunch.
Even as he stood in the kitchen, hands dancing around the flashing glitter of a sharp blade as he diced onions, he couldn’t get his mind off of the Marine boy. Why had he bothered catching him only to let him go when Lawson came looking for him? Why hadn’t he used his cursed abilities the first time he’d fought Zeff? What was his name, anyway? And why the hell was the boy such a good kisser?
Zeff shuddered at the last question and looked down at his onions. They were a bit past diced and well on the road to puréed. Ah, hell. The Marine brat was a pain even when he wasn’t present.
Zeff wanted to see him again. Just so he could try and land a kick on him, that’s all.
But for now, he had meals for five—no, six, the captain had managed to acquire a new crewmate from the man he’d been meeting with last night (by winning him in a poker game, of all things!), and Zeff had to remember to make more food. He also had to actually talk to the new meat and find out what he liked and didn’t like, food-wise. And he had to figure out how to make these rather sub-par vegetables into dishes that were up to his usual four-star standards.
Zeff was too damn busy right now for weird baby Marines, even if they did kiss well. He threw himself into his cooking, and almost managed to not think of him at all.
Chapter Five: The Taste of Revenge
Chapter Three: Contact
Title: Acquired Taste, Chapter Four: Simmer
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Smoker and Zeff suffer the consequences of stupidity. Namely, shouting and death threats.
“You had him and you let him GET AWAY?!” Hina was absolutely rigid with rage, and Smoker halfway didn’t blame her. Only halfway, though.
“What the hell else was I supposed to do? He wasn’t doing anything legally wrong, someone came out of the restaurant looking for him, and I was off duty and technically didn’t have the authority to arrest him anyway! Besides, how was I supposed to explain me being out in the streets with him instead of between the sheets with you?” he snarled, grinding his teeth around the end of his cigar. He wondered if smoking two cigars at once was feasible, because after this argument he was certainly going to feel like he needed another one.
“Hina is so Hina-angry with you that Hina can’t find the words!” Hina shrieked, voice reaching a pitch that should have had dogs all over the base howling (including Major Grawp). Roughly translated from Hina-ese, that meant “You have made a logical argument that I cannot find any holes in, but I am still irrationally upset with you. Give me a moment to smoke a cigarette and calm myself.”
Hina’s next-door barracks-neighbors, who either spoke Hina-ese very poorly or (more likely) hadn’t heard actual words, only volume, thumped on the wall. A door banged open, and someone across the hall shouted, “Will you two make up and have sex already so the rest of us can sleep?”
Hina, wrath turned towards a target she could actually kick the shit out of without it turning into smoke every time she tried to smash its nose in, stomped out to go put a hurting on some poor stupid soul who hadn’t given her her five minutes and a cigarette so she could calm down. Smoker could hear shouts of “Hina’s personal life is Hina’s business!” and “Hina will be angry if Hina wants to be!” between cries of pain. Smoker would have felt sorry for the poor girl, but she’d really brought it on herself.
After Hina had come back looking much calmer and had had her requisite cigarette, she finally asked, “If you knew you couldn’t do anything to him, why did you bother using your Logia to capture him? So desperate for dates you have to hunt them down and catch them?”
That had come a little too close to the truth. It really wasn’t encouraging when the first words that someone you fancied spoke to you were “You taste like shit.” Especially when the person complaining actually tasted really good, and you could almost feel the prickle of his goatee around your lips…back on topic. Hina was starting to look at him funny, and Smoker wondered if his eyes had actually glazed over.
“Nnn. It was stupid.” It retrospect, it really was. That wasn’t an answer, but it was all the answer he cared to give right now. “But at least I know his name now.” Onwards, to a new subject of conversation.
“Oh? Tell me.”
“His friend called it when he came out of the restaurant. It’s ‘Zeff.’ And if I know his name, I can find him again.”
****
“And where exactly were you again?” Captain Lawson was not a happy man. Actually, from the neutrality of his tone and the utter blandness of his face, he was contemplating shooting Zeff and throwing him overboard. Damn, but Zeff hated those stupid sunglasses. They kept him from getting a proper read on the man and also kept him from anticipating what he’d do in a combat situation—which was precisely what they were supposed to do.
“I was investigating a possible threat.” Investigating the inside of a Marine’s mouth, more like. Captain Lawson wasn’t finding out about that little feature of Zeff’s evening, though. “It turned out to be nothing. I wasn’t gone longer than five minutes.”
“Five minutes can make a world of difference as to whether we stay alive and free or arrested and dead. If Marines had come into that restaurant during the ‘five minutes’ you were gone, I’d be in irons and facing trial, and where would you be then?”
“Anluan would be captain, and we’d all be doomed. But it didn’t, and he’s not.” The navigator slammed her pen down. “If Zeff says he thought it was important, you should leave it be. Nothing bad came of it, and the ‘what ifs’ don’t matter. You need to trust other people more.” The special emphasis she put on the word “trust” told him that this was a longstanding argument that definitely predated his time on the crew.
Captain Lawson looked at the navigator, then back at Zeff. Zeff met him, glare for…sunglasses. Stupid sunglasses. They were mirrored too, so all you got was yourself glaring back at you.
When Lawson finally said, “Fine,” it was so quiet that Zeff almost missed it. He wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t relieved, though—he didn’t relish trying to swim back to shore, especially if he was as perforated as things that Captain Lawson got angry with tended to be. He shot a quick look of gratitude at the navigator (who winked at him) and went to go work on lunch.
Even as he stood in the kitchen, hands dancing around the flashing glitter of a sharp blade as he diced onions, he couldn’t get his mind off of the Marine boy. Why had he bothered catching him only to let him go when Lawson came looking for him? Why hadn’t he used his cursed abilities the first time he’d fought Zeff? What was his name, anyway? And why the hell was the boy such a good kisser?
Zeff shuddered at the last question and looked down at his onions. They were a bit past diced and well on the road to puréed. Ah, hell. The Marine brat was a pain even when he wasn’t present.
Zeff wanted to see him again. Just so he could try and land a kick on him, that’s all.
But for now, he had meals for five—no, six, the captain had managed to acquire a new crewmate from the man he’d been meeting with last night (by winning him in a poker game, of all things!), and Zeff had to remember to make more food. He also had to actually talk to the new meat and find out what he liked and didn’t like, food-wise. And he had to figure out how to make these rather sub-par vegetables into dishes that were up to his usual four-star standards.
Zeff was too damn busy right now for weird baby Marines, even if they did kiss well. He threw himself into his cooking, and almost managed to not think of him at all.
Chapter Five: The Taste of Revenge
Chapter Three: Contact
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 11:30 pm (UTC)With my new knowledge of the words 'Hina-angry' and 'Hina-ese,' my vocabulary has expanded today. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 06:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 12:54 pm (UTC)Really looking forward to their next meeting, now.
Sadly, the thought has seized me that there's a rather tight window for this to happen... according to his flashback in the anime, Smoker would have been about 10/12 when Gol D. Roger was executed... assuming he's what, seventeen here? then Zeff only has five years to get a crew of his own, do his little trip on Grand Line, and go back to attack Sanji's ship.
But. Logic and sense do not matter. Rock on. ^__^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 07:13 pm (UTC)I found out that Smoker's thirty-three about three days ago, so he'd have been eleven when he saw Gold Roger get executed. Go me, manga addict that I am, for not learning this until so late. Panic oh noes!math time.
Twenty-two years, minus six for Smoker to get up to a decent age, minus nine years on the Baratie, minus one year on the Grand Line...that gives six years for Zeff to get hisself a ship and a crew.
I wasn't planning on giving these two longer than a year or so of putting up with each other and annoying Hina, so make it five years of "free" time before Red-Leg Zeff hits the Grand Line.
Think Zeff's charismatic enough to gather an okay-sized crew in five years and spend some time kicking around East Blue getting stronger before tackling the Grand Line? I hope so. I'd like to think Zeff's that awesome, but unfortunately the only real measuring sticks we have are Shanks (one year minimum in East Blue, probably longer) and Luffy (what, two months before he went to the Grand Line, if that?).
I could look at real famous pirates, but none of them had to deal with the Grand Line. Some of them had lifetime careers that were shorter than five years. Arg. *headdesk*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 07:31 pm (UTC)that gives six years for Zeff to get hisself a ship and a crew
Assuming that he went straight from the Grand Line to East Blue, which isn't a given...
As far as I can tell from Sanji's flashback, Zeff's crew wasn't anything special, so all he would need is a good navigator. Five years work, I say.(but am starting to wonder about the age difference...)
About Shanks, we know that he spent one year in East Blue, but did he say he hadn't already been to Grand Line at the time? Even at the time he was uber famous and Mihawk's rival. Could he have earned that reputation without setting foot on Grand Line? I think he was there before. Gold Roger went there for holidays, after all. Other crazy pirates could do the same. >_>
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:01 pm (UTC)Heh, I think that Zeff and Smoker have about the same age gap as Robin and Luffy, so ten or eleven years...which is still smaller than the age difference between Smoker and Ace. Wow, Smoker-kins is about one smartass comment away from being "eggplant"-ed.
Shanks could well have been to the Grand Line by the time he was kicking around Fushia Village. I know not, as he doesn't specifically say he hadn't been. Rawr.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:25 pm (UTC)Do you really think Zeff as he is now is under forty-five? Poor guy didn't age well, if that's the case... But Smoker-kins getting eggplant-ed would be... just wrong. Yes.
As for Shanks, the Grand Data Files say nothing. I'm starting to think that Ben might have been his and Baggy's captain, but that's probably crack and has nothing to do with Grand Line anyway. *sighs* WHY DON'T THEY GIVE THE FANS MORE DETAIL? ;_;
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:29 pm (UTC)Amen to that. Give me information, so I don't get canon-screwed later! Pleeeeeease!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:36 pm (UTC)If only I could. I'd rely heavily on the Grand Data Files, but since I've found out that the Red one has a picture of Sanji saying "and me, the greatest swordsman", I've been careful with them. >_> WAHHHHHH.
And between discussing Zeff's story and the properties of seastone, my damn fic is not making progress. *sighs*
Question for the imaginative: what's the stupidest Devil Fruit that could exist?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 08:50 pm (UTC)Stupider than a Devil Fruit with attacks like Gomu Gomu no Baka and Gomu Gomu no Dame Da? Oh wait, that's just Luffy. The Devil Fruit he ate claims no responsibility for what he does with it.
Hmmmm...I'd say a Devil Fruit that gives you command over butterflies. Conceivably, you could pull off a decent attack with it...provided you had a handy swarm of butterflies present, and it wasn't too cold or too windy or too rainy for them to fly about efficiently. It'd be cute and all if you were a chick and you ate it, but if you were a guy...
...man, no one's gonna take you seriously. You'd better learn how to fight with something else. Pick up martial arts or the sword or something. Use your butterflies for dramatic effect and maybe for spying--well, assuming what they saw stayed in their little butterfly brains, and they didn't get distracted by flowers on the way back.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 09:15 pm (UTC)Gomu Gomu no Dame Da made me lose faith in humanity, I swear. When did Gomu Gomu no Baka happen? I don't remember that one. (That said, Bara Bara Festival is quite moronic as well.)
Ah, that's a nice one. Sanji could use that to make his own shoujo effects when he tries to woo a lady.
I was thinking about a Zoan type that turns you into a sea animal. Like "LOOK I'M A SHARK!
...
...
... woops I'm drowning."
Or something.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 09:39 pm (UTC)Luffy vs. Ener, manga chapter 281. Luffy was tired of getting the crap knocked out of him by Ener's overgrown fork and sooper psychic powerz, so he went "Gomu Gomu no Baka!"...and turned off his brain. This where we get to see what a formidable natural fighter Luffy is, because he's dodging Ener on pure reptile-brain instinct, without any inconvenient thoughts getting in the way or telling Ener what the hell he's going to do next. Unfortunately, Luffy can't attack like that. This is immediately followed by "Gomu Gomu no Tako!" which is actually slightly stupider.
Dude, your Zoan fruit totally pwns my butterfly fruit for sheer irony.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 09:57 pm (UTC)I confess I didn't pay much attention to the Ener fight. Possibly because I'd been reading non-stop since Little Garden and was getting a bit tired. >_>
I admire the ability to turn off one's brain. I wish I could do that. *sighs*
I like your butterfly fruit. Though I wonder in what category it would be. It doesn't seem like any of the three types to me. Then again, nor does the Noro Noro one, so...
There's also the one that makes you sprout custard cream. Kinda like Mr. 3, but with custard. But that one wouldn't be entirely useless.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 10:12 pm (UTC)I guess that would make my butterfly one semi-Zoan? Or maybe Paramecia, since that seems to be the catchall category a lot of times.
On a related note, a light Logia user would probably die the first time s/he took full Logia form--in a second, s/he'd be 299,792,458 meters away, well off the planet, and would promptly expire in the icy vacuum of space. As far as hir friends were concerned, there was a flash of light and their friend vanished without a trace, never to be seen or heard from again.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 10:23 pm (UTC)Do you think Devil Fruits can be hybrids? Half-Zoan half-Logia? After all, if a gun can eat a fruit, then so can another fruit, and you get strange, strange things. Which possibly explode.
Light Logia = teh winz.
A good fruit to give a Mary-Sue.(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 10:46 pm (UTC)Wouldn't combining two Devil Fruits give you the same problem you get if you eat two Devil Fruits, i.e. immediate and painful death? Or, like you said, possible explosion? Devil Fruit bomb!
I so want to feed a Hikari-Hikari Fruit to this bitch (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/827080/).(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 10:54 pm (UTC)YYyyyyes I think it might. That makes for quite the expensive bomb, considering the price some people are apparently willing to pay to get a Devil Fruit... Which I don't really understand. I mean, even Chopper could get his hooves on one (and so could Dalton and Wapol, which makes three for one island). It can't be that hard?
...I can see why. Whoever would want to steal that character? O_o(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 10:57 pm (UTC)She wears her hair in a elegant style when she wears it.
The rest of the time it stays in its closet? XD