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chibi_trillianHappy birthday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fffshuuu!
Title: Jealousy Is Brutal
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Metal!verse AU, Johnny/Yosaku and bonus Sanji/Zoro. A 100% Tiff-approved sequel to Failing Is Brutal. Jail is totally unmetal.
The booze had worn off and Johnny’s hand was really starting to hurt by the time the officer showed up at the door to the cell.
“It’s your lucky day, Corey Hart. The bastard you whipped the shit out of finally came to. For some reason, he’s declining to press charges, so you’re free to go.” The look in the officer’s eyes said that he surmised the “some reason” involved hookers, blow, and the Mexican Mafia. Johnny didn’t care. Johnny cared about two things: 1) the bottle of 120-proof Russian anesthetic he knew was in the freezer at home and 2) the man waiting in the police station’s reception area. It was such a relief to see Yosaku that Johnny could have kissed him. And not in a totally macho man-kiss kind of way, either. More in a pussy chick-flick kind of way, with cuddling and shit.
Which was how this mess had gotten started, really. Upon sober (or at least less drunk) reflection, he really shouldn’t have turned Gin’s face into hamburger. Seriously. He had to work with the guy, after all.
And so did Yosaku.
Which was another problem, because if Gin tried to tap Yosaku’s ass at work, Johnny was afraid he was going to have to administer another beatdown, and having that sort of thing happen when he had access to power tools was probably not in the best interests of either of them. Gin probably didn’t want to die, and Johnny definitely didn’t want to spend the next twenty-five years to life being somebody’s prison-bitch.
It was mutually beneficial, therefore, that Johnny stake out his territory. To do that, he needed to figure out how to put “I like you a lot, I like fucking you a lot, and I don’t want anybody but me fucking you,” in macho, manly, metal terms that wouldn’t get him kicked out of his own apartment by his enraged roommate. C’mon, Johnny, think: if John Wayne had to go Brokeback, how would he do it?
The spirit of the Duke was evidently not with him tonight, as he hadn’t come up with anything by the time they got out to the parking lot. Yosaku was apparently giving him the silent treatment, which was totally bitchy and unmetal because it gave Johnny no fucking clue where to start talking.
They sat in silence for a moment after getting in the truck. Johnny tried not to fidget. Finally, Yosaku cleared his throat.
“So…Gin. You broke his jaw, you know.”
Johnny made a noncommittal grunt.
“They had to wire it shut at the hospital. He looks like a villain from a James Bond flick.”
Johnny tried to feel bad. Really, he did. But right now, he was just pissed because he knew how much Yosaku liked James Bond movies and Gin did not need to be going around looking like someone from one of them just to get into Yosaku’s pants. Bastard.
“He’s going to be slurping his meals through a straw for the next two months.”
Okay, now he did feel kind of bad. Beer through a straw was just nasty.
“Sucks to be him right now.”
Johnny nodded. This, he could express agreement on.
Agreement was apparently not what Yosaku was looking for, because he slugged Johnny in the arm and yelled, ”GODDAMMIT, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!”
There were a lot of responses to that question. One of them was no doubt exactly what he was looking for, the perfect words that would explain everything and make Yosaku not pissed at him anymore. The one that came out of his mouth was, unfortunately, not that reply.
“I…he…he said…he wanted to…dammit, I l-l-like you, man. A lot.”
Yosaku gave him a look. It wasn’t a happy one. Actually, it was very close to promising skullfucking with a diamond-studded codpiece. “I like you too. Most of the time. When you haven’t just spent the last two hours in jail for breaking somebody’s face and I didn’t have to call Paulie at two in the goddamn morning to see if he could get the boys to toss in some cash towards your bail.”
Johnny shook his head frantically. He really should have used that other “L” word, the one Gin had used, but dammit, he was a MAN. And he was talking to another MAN. That kind of shit was supposed to only be uttered after three cases of beer, and Johnny was a case and a half short of that. But this still called for the big guns. He reached up, took off his sunglasses, and looked his best friend in the eyes.
“He…he said he liked you too. A lot. Like, wants-to-bone-you a lot. And I punched him for it. ‘Cause…yeah. Stuff.” He looked down at his swollen, bruised hand. That, as forceful, brutal declarations of ass-ownership went, had sucked. Maybe Gin deserved to have Yosaku, if Johnny couldn’t even manage to stake his claim effectively. Man, he should start looking for another apartment right now.
Yosaku was dead silent for a moment, his mouth working but no sound coming out. And then he tackled Johnny to the seat, punched him twice in the gut, and kissed him hard while he was still choking on his own spit. Johnny was really getting mixed signals here.
“Dumbass. I wouldn’t hit that with a motherfucking stick and you know it.”
Oh. Well, that was all right, then.
\m/ \m/ \m/ \m/
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
The apartment door slammed open, jolting Chopper out of a light doze. Tree Leg and Big Green stumbled in, Tree Leg practically dragging Big Green along by his undone belt. Chopper had a moment of alarm, wondering if he should intervene, then remembered that Big Green had been coming home smelling like that one guy lately, the one from the campout with hungry eyes. Chopper would recognize his scent anywhere, and there had been way too much of it on Big Green for his liking.
He watched as Tree Leg slammed Big Green into the wall hard enough to make the pots in the kitchen rattle, growling low and throaty like the predator that he was. Tree Leg let Big Green squirm for a moment, listening to him choking out something about “But there was nothing going on!” before biting down hard on his neck, shoving him the rest of the way into the bedroom, and kicking the door shut.
Chopper snorted and smoothed down his fur, steadfastly reminding himself to ignore the distressed yelps coming from behind the door. It was spring, after all. Tree Leg was just claiming his mate.
fffshuuu!Title: Jealousy Is Brutal
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Metal!verse AU, Johnny/Yosaku and bonus Sanji/Zoro. A 100% Tiff-approved sequel to Failing Is Brutal. Jail is totally unmetal.
The booze had worn off and Johnny’s hand was really starting to hurt by the time the officer showed up at the door to the cell.
“It’s your lucky day, Corey Hart. The bastard you whipped the shit out of finally came to. For some reason, he’s declining to press charges, so you’re free to go.” The look in the officer’s eyes said that he surmised the “some reason” involved hookers, blow, and the Mexican Mafia. Johnny didn’t care. Johnny cared about two things: 1) the bottle of 120-proof Russian anesthetic he knew was in the freezer at home and 2) the man waiting in the police station’s reception area. It was such a relief to see Yosaku that Johnny could have kissed him. And not in a totally macho man-kiss kind of way, either. More in a pussy chick-flick kind of way, with cuddling and shit.
Which was how this mess had gotten started, really. Upon sober (or at least less drunk) reflection, he really shouldn’t have turned Gin’s face into hamburger. Seriously. He had to work with the guy, after all.
And so did Yosaku.
Which was another problem, because if Gin tried to tap Yosaku’s ass at work, Johnny was afraid he was going to have to administer another beatdown, and having that sort of thing happen when he had access to power tools was probably not in the best interests of either of them. Gin probably didn’t want to die, and Johnny definitely didn’t want to spend the next twenty-five years to life being somebody’s prison-bitch.
It was mutually beneficial, therefore, that Johnny stake out his territory. To do that, he needed to figure out how to put “I like you a lot, I like fucking you a lot, and I don’t want anybody but me fucking you,” in macho, manly, metal terms that wouldn’t get him kicked out of his own apartment by his enraged roommate. C’mon, Johnny, think: if John Wayne had to go Brokeback, how would he do it?
The spirit of the Duke was evidently not with him tonight, as he hadn’t come up with anything by the time they got out to the parking lot. Yosaku was apparently giving him the silent treatment, which was totally bitchy and unmetal because it gave Johnny no fucking clue where to start talking.
They sat in silence for a moment after getting in the truck. Johnny tried not to fidget. Finally, Yosaku cleared his throat.
“So…Gin. You broke his jaw, you know.”
Johnny made a noncommittal grunt.
“They had to wire it shut at the hospital. He looks like a villain from a James Bond flick.”
Johnny tried to feel bad. Really, he did. But right now, he was just pissed because he knew how much Yosaku liked James Bond movies and Gin did not need to be going around looking like someone from one of them just to get into Yosaku’s pants. Bastard.
“He’s going to be slurping his meals through a straw for the next two months.”
Okay, now he did feel kind of bad. Beer through a straw was just nasty.
“Sucks to be him right now.”
Johnny nodded. This, he could express agreement on.
Agreement was apparently not what Yosaku was looking for, because he slugged Johnny in the arm and yelled, ”GODDAMMIT, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!”
There were a lot of responses to that question. One of them was no doubt exactly what he was looking for, the perfect words that would explain everything and make Yosaku not pissed at him anymore. The one that came out of his mouth was, unfortunately, not that reply.
“I…he…he said…he wanted to…dammit, I l-l-like you, man. A lot.”
Yosaku gave him a look. It wasn’t a happy one. Actually, it was very close to promising skullfucking with a diamond-studded codpiece. “I like you too. Most of the time. When you haven’t just spent the last two hours in jail for breaking somebody’s face and I didn’t have to call Paulie at two in the goddamn morning to see if he could get the boys to toss in some cash towards your bail.”
Johnny shook his head frantically. He really should have used that other “L” word, the one Gin had used, but dammit, he was a MAN. And he was talking to another MAN. That kind of shit was supposed to only be uttered after three cases of beer, and Johnny was a case and a half short of that. But this still called for the big guns. He reached up, took off his sunglasses, and looked his best friend in the eyes.
“He…he said he liked you too. A lot. Like, wants-to-bone-you a lot. And I punched him for it. ‘Cause…yeah. Stuff.” He looked down at his swollen, bruised hand. That, as forceful, brutal declarations of ass-ownership went, had sucked. Maybe Gin deserved to have Yosaku, if Johnny couldn’t even manage to stake his claim effectively. Man, he should start looking for another apartment right now.
Yosaku was dead silent for a moment, his mouth working but no sound coming out. And then he tackled Johnny to the seat, punched him twice in the gut, and kissed him hard while he was still choking on his own spit. Johnny was really getting mixed signals here.
“Dumbass. I wouldn’t hit that with a motherfucking stick and you know it.”
Oh. Well, that was all right, then.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
The apartment door slammed open, jolting Chopper out of a light doze. Tree Leg and Big Green stumbled in, Tree Leg practically dragging Big Green along by his undone belt. Chopper had a moment of alarm, wondering if he should intervene, then remembered that Big Green had been coming home smelling like that one guy lately, the one from the campout with hungry eyes. Chopper would recognize his scent anywhere, and there had been way too much of it on Big Green for his liking.
He watched as Tree Leg slammed Big Green into the wall hard enough to make the pots in the kitchen rattle, growling low and throaty like the predator that he was. Tree Leg let Big Green squirm for a moment, listening to him choking out something about “But there was nothing going on!” before biting down hard on his neck, shoving him the rest of the way into the bedroom, and kicking the door shut.
Chopper snorted and smoothed down his fur, steadfastly reminding himself to ignore the distressed yelps coming from behind the door. It was spring, after all. Tree Leg was just claiming his mate.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 01:44 am (UTC)Hehehe, the MAN to MAN way of saying I love you, metal-style. Oh, I have a big stupid grin on my face now, which will probably be there for most of the evening.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 02:08 am (UTC)Just... Johnny. And Yosaku. AND YOU MADE THEM METAL. ♥
I'd feel like an idiot if I quoted my favorite lines in particular back to you.I'm gonna do it anyway.And just mentioning Paulie... omg that makes me so happy for reasons I can't explain. ♥ And then Chopper. XDDD
I GOT METAL!VERSE FOR MY BIRTHDAY! FUCK YEAH! OMFG THANK YOU!!! *HUGS*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 09:49 am (UTC)I'm so glad you liked it. Happy birthday again! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 04:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 05:39 am (UTC)Actually, it was very close to promising skullfucking with a diamond-studded codpiece.
How did this remind me of Metalocalypse?!! Why did I think of William Murderface?!
Ending point: Johnny is a soft hearted romantic high school girl on the inside...deep on the inside wrapped around his inability to express emotions and jealous violence. ^_______^
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 07:58 am (UTC)<3 for the ending too!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 06:35 am (UTC)YOu slayed me!!!
I'm really starting to love this AU and I usually don't like AU's! GEEZ!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 07:54 am (UTC)i love this series and you did guuud!!
keep it up!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 08:34 am (UTC)i'm been quietly lurking/stalking/reading your stories for some tiem now, and i very much enjoy them =^.^=
You are an outstanking writer!
I've been snopping though some of your journals, and though your memories, and stumbled upon quiet a list of entries that i couldn't read..
I'm guessing that they are maybe freidn locked becuase of ratings?
So i am wonder, if this is the case, is there any chance of me getting on your freind list, so that I could read them?
Please?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 09:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 12:24 pm (UTC)*falls over laughing* This was the best line ever!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 12:51 pm (UTC)Though it is _such_ a nice change that people other than sanji loses. ^__^
ps. Hope you don't mind me friending you.. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 12:56 pm (UTC)