Chopper is my new musical GOD.
Jan. 5th, 2006 11:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chibi_trillianI have only one thing to say about my current music: OMG reindeer ska WTF.
Title: Dustkittens
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: Rated Rish for some language and ass-ogling.
Summary: Sanji loses something vitally important to his everyday life under the stove. Unfortunately, he can't remember the last time he cleaned under there.
“FUCK!”
The knife, heinously permitted to fall from his hand in a moment of marimo-induced distraction, was then even more sinfully kicked by an idiot longnose’s careless foot and sent skittering under the oven. Sanji, even though he was hundreds of miles away from the Baratie and its owner, instinctively braced himself for a NEVER-drop-a-knife-stupid-eggplant kick to the head.
When none was forthcoming, he remembered that he was the one who dealt out those sorts of things now, and proceeded to do just that. As Usopp whined and Zoro snarled, both rubbing the newly acquired lumps on their heads, Sanji dropped to his hands and knees, then to his stomach, trying to see under the stove. Shit, where was it? All he could see down here was evidence that he needed to clean, and badly. He needed something long and thin…
“Oi, marimo, lend me one of your swords.”
“NO!”
“You made me drop my knife, so it’s only fitting that one of your swords should help me retrieve it.”
“No, asshole! You’re not using one of my swords for anything! Why don’t you use that big long-handled spoon over there?”
Sanji gave Zoro the Look. The one Zeff used to use on him whenever he said something really stupid, like, “Hey shitty old man, why don’t we serve fried pickles?” Dammit, those pickles had been traditional on his home island…back to the present, where he knew better than to fry brine-soaked cucumbers. He gave Zoro the Look, and said, “Usopp, go get me the broom.”
Usopp looked indignant. Sanji could see the “Why me?” about to come out of his mouth. Sanji just transferred the Look over, and Usopp shivered and went to go get the broom.
Five minutes later and Sanji was back on his knees, sweeping the broom handle under the stove. Usopp had made exactly one comment about his ass being a tempting target before Sanji had snaked out a leg and swept his feet out from under him. Sometimes he wondered about Usopp a bit…not near as much as he wondered about Zoro, though. Since Zoro hadn’t said anything, he couldn’t legitimately kick him for the vague feeling that his ass was being stared at. So he focused on his findings.
First sweep. Dustkittens. An entire litter of them. Also, one Lead Star, a gumball, and a potholder that Sanji had last seen being used as a hat accessory by Luffy. No knife.
Second sweep. More dustkittens. An earring that Sanji’s expert knowledge identified as being half of Nami’s fifth-favorite set of silver hoops, two winecorks, and a shrimp fork. No knife, but he’d heard something rattle under there. Usopp was futzing with something across the kitchen. Zoro’s silence was starting to get unnerving. He glanced back as quickly as he could, catching a glimpse though this hair. The marimo seemed not only to be looking at his ass, but to be concentrating upon it with unusual force. Sanji managed to smother the urge to mulekick him in the shins because that meant he had to admit that his rump was being admired by another man. Disgusting.
Third sweep. Downgraded to dustbunnies. A few dropped peas and stale noodles, a bookmark with a butterfly on it, three unidentified pills, and a ring that belonged on the second finger of the right hand of one Vivi, Princess of Alabasta. Oops. Well, Sanji would keep it safe until he saw her lovely face again. Still no knife, Zoro was still staring, and he was getting annoyed. Usopp was still futzing, and Sanji was starting to have some serious concerns for that half of his kitchen.
Then a puddle of light splashed onto the dustkittens. Sanji was surprised that they didn’t rear back and hiss. The light shivered, wavered, and then moved over, briefly spotlighting Sanji’s ass for Zoro’s apparent viewing pleasure. The hell?
Usopp plopped down with a small hand mirror and directed the lightpuddle to its final destination: under the stove. He’d managed to put together a solar spotlight. Sanji would have been more impressed if his good silver serving platters hadn’t gone into its manufacture.
Usopp looked under the stove and said “Broom,” in the same tone of voice that Chopper used when he was asking for forceps or a scalpel. Sanji handed it over, distracted by the misappropriation of his kitchenware for his own theoretical benefit. Usopp gave one short sweep and the knife came out, covered in lint but otherwise unharmed. Sanji snatched it up, ran to the sink, and promptly gave it a good scrubbing, making vague thanks-type noises in Usopp’s general direction.
“Not a problem for Great Inventor Usopp. Why, once I had to stop a raging flood and a wildfire from destroying a village, and all I had to do it with was three rubber bands, some sticks, and a pack of chewing gum. That was a challenge, I tell you—“
“Put my platters back. If there are fingerprints on them, you’re going to be the one polishing them.”
Usopp, interrupted midstory, huffed faintly and went to go do as he was told. The shitty swordsman, on the other hand, was just lounging against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed like he owned the place and everything in it, including Sanji. Arrogant, derriere-ogling bastard. Sanji ought to kick him in the head again, just for the hell of it. It’s what he got for staring like that, so openly. It made a man feel violated, and nauseated, and…and..
And then Zoro made a faint snorting noise and slouched a little farther, and Sanji realized the swordsman was quite asleep, and likely had been for some time. Apparently, Sanji’s ass wasn’t interesting enough to stay awake for.
Sanji ruthlessly crushed the faint, vague feeling of disappointment, and went back to slicing zucchini.
Title: Dustkittens
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: Rated Rish for some language and ass-ogling.
Summary: Sanji loses something vitally important to his everyday life under the stove. Unfortunately, he can't remember the last time he cleaned under there.
“FUCK!”
The knife, heinously permitted to fall from his hand in a moment of marimo-induced distraction, was then even more sinfully kicked by an idiot longnose’s careless foot and sent skittering under the oven. Sanji, even though he was hundreds of miles away from the Baratie and its owner, instinctively braced himself for a NEVER-drop-a-knife-stupid-eggplant kick to the head.
When none was forthcoming, he remembered that he was the one who dealt out those sorts of things now, and proceeded to do just that. As Usopp whined and Zoro snarled, both rubbing the newly acquired lumps on their heads, Sanji dropped to his hands and knees, then to his stomach, trying to see under the stove. Shit, where was it? All he could see down here was evidence that he needed to clean, and badly. He needed something long and thin…
“Oi, marimo, lend me one of your swords.”
“NO!”
“You made me drop my knife, so it’s only fitting that one of your swords should help me retrieve it.”
“No, asshole! You’re not using one of my swords for anything! Why don’t you use that big long-handled spoon over there?”
Sanji gave Zoro the Look. The one Zeff used to use on him whenever he said something really stupid, like, “Hey shitty old man, why don’t we serve fried pickles?” Dammit, those pickles had been traditional on his home island…back to the present, where he knew better than to fry brine-soaked cucumbers. He gave Zoro the Look, and said, “Usopp, go get me the broom.”
Usopp looked indignant. Sanji could see the “Why me?” about to come out of his mouth. Sanji just transferred the Look over, and Usopp shivered and went to go get the broom.
Five minutes later and Sanji was back on his knees, sweeping the broom handle under the stove. Usopp had made exactly one comment about his ass being a tempting target before Sanji had snaked out a leg and swept his feet out from under him. Sometimes he wondered about Usopp a bit…not near as much as he wondered about Zoro, though. Since Zoro hadn’t said anything, he couldn’t legitimately kick him for the vague feeling that his ass was being stared at. So he focused on his findings.
First sweep. Dustkittens. An entire litter of them. Also, one Lead Star, a gumball, and a potholder that Sanji had last seen being used as a hat accessory by Luffy. No knife.
Second sweep. More dustkittens. An earring that Sanji’s expert knowledge identified as being half of Nami’s fifth-favorite set of silver hoops, two winecorks, and a shrimp fork. No knife, but he’d heard something rattle under there. Usopp was futzing with something across the kitchen. Zoro’s silence was starting to get unnerving. He glanced back as quickly as he could, catching a glimpse though this hair. The marimo seemed not only to be looking at his ass, but to be concentrating upon it with unusual force. Sanji managed to smother the urge to mulekick him in the shins because that meant he had to admit that his rump was being admired by another man. Disgusting.
Third sweep. Downgraded to dustbunnies. A few dropped peas and stale noodles, a bookmark with a butterfly on it, three unidentified pills, and a ring that belonged on the second finger of the right hand of one Vivi, Princess of Alabasta. Oops. Well, Sanji would keep it safe until he saw her lovely face again. Still no knife, Zoro was still staring, and he was getting annoyed. Usopp was still futzing, and Sanji was starting to have some serious concerns for that half of his kitchen.
Then a puddle of light splashed onto the dustkittens. Sanji was surprised that they didn’t rear back and hiss. The light shivered, wavered, and then moved over, briefly spotlighting Sanji’s ass for Zoro’s apparent viewing pleasure. The hell?
Usopp plopped down with a small hand mirror and directed the lightpuddle to its final destination: under the stove. He’d managed to put together a solar spotlight. Sanji would have been more impressed if his good silver serving platters hadn’t gone into its manufacture.
Usopp looked under the stove and said “Broom,” in the same tone of voice that Chopper used when he was asking for forceps or a scalpel. Sanji handed it over, distracted by the misappropriation of his kitchenware for his own theoretical benefit. Usopp gave one short sweep and the knife came out, covered in lint but otherwise unharmed. Sanji snatched it up, ran to the sink, and promptly gave it a good scrubbing, making vague thanks-type noises in Usopp’s general direction.
“Not a problem for Great Inventor Usopp. Why, once I had to stop a raging flood and a wildfire from destroying a village, and all I had to do it with was three rubber bands, some sticks, and a pack of chewing gum. That was a challenge, I tell you—“
“Put my platters back. If there are fingerprints on them, you’re going to be the one polishing them.”
Usopp, interrupted midstory, huffed faintly and went to go do as he was told. The shitty swordsman, on the other hand, was just lounging against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed like he owned the place and everything in it, including Sanji. Arrogant, derriere-ogling bastard. Sanji ought to kick him in the head again, just for the hell of it. It’s what he got for staring like that, so openly. It made a man feel violated, and nauseated, and…and..
And then Zoro made a faint snorting noise and slouched a little farther, and Sanji realized the swordsman was quite asleep, and likely had been for some time. Apparently, Sanji’s ass wasn’t interesting enough to stay awake for.
Sanji ruthlessly crushed the faint, vague feeling of disappointment, and went back to slicing zucchini.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-07 07:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-08 02:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-08 08:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-08 09:33 am (UTC)Chibificus Maximus is my nickname. It's actually incorrect Latin for me--it ought to be Chibifica Maxima (Biggest Chibi). People are used to the masculine ending for most things, though, so that's what I use.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 11:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 02:56 am (UTC)I'm turning, inch by inch, into an Usopp fangirl. I'd cry, but I'm enjoying it too much.
I had to think very hard to make sure everybody had something under the oven without it looking too contrived. I want Robin's bookmark.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-28 06:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-29 08:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-25 09:23 pm (UTC)And then Zoro made a faint snorting noise and slouched a little farther, and Sanji realized the swordsman was quite asleep, and likely had been for some time. Apparently, Sanji’s ass wasn’t interesting enough to stay awake for.
Sanji ruthlessly crushed the faint, vague feeling of disappointment, and went back to slicing zucchini.
It's all in the ego. XD