My inspiration was Bob the Knowledge Spirit.

[chibi_trillian]

With all the other crap I'm supposed to be writing for people, I really shouldn't be writing randomness like this.

Title: Strawhat
Series: One Piece.
One Piece: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Luffy/Zoro, from the point of view of an insider. Crossposted to onepieceyaoi.


Oh, crap. It’s slam-Luffy-up-against-the-wall time this go ‘round. I hate that. Oi. OI. You’re squishing me. Stoppit!

There, that’s better. One of these days, you really are going to crush me, and Shanks is going to be pissed. You could at least take me off first. Then again, that green-haired swordsman, he’s a pretty good distraction. I liked Ben better. Ben used to take me off and put me on a table or something, usually where I had a good view. Yay for Ben.

Admittedly, this is a very nice spot to watch from, but it’s a little dangerous for my liking. Last time, I got my brim crumpled and Nami had to fix it. I’m not a young hat, you know, and enough people have tried to kill me as it is. That clown guy with the knives still gives me nightmares.

Arg. You took everything off except me. Admittedly, I don’t want to be thrown across the storeroom like that, but it would be nice to be remembered sometime before you hear my straw going “crunch.”

Sometimes I think you think of me as a natural extension of your head, kind of like your hair and your nose. Then again, I don’t think I’ve been outside of arm’s reach of you in a decade, so I suppose it’s normal. It’s going to feel weird when I go back to Shanks—you’ve got me on your pirate flag and everything. What will they call Strawhat Luffy when he doesn’t have his straw hat anymore?

Maybe Shanks will let you keep me. That’d be nice. I think I’d miss you, kid, even if you don’t remember to take me off before messing around with your first mate.

Well, at least Zoro remembered that I’m here. And it says something that you trust him enough to let him touch me without taking his arm off. Yay for Zoro.

That’s right; put me up on top of the water barrels. Good marimo.

Hey. HEY! Dumb swordsman, you put me too far back! I can’t see anything! Dammit! Figures, I get to see just about everything else in your life, good and bad, and you and your first mate conspire to deny me one of the better perks of my existence. I swear, I’m going to bite you when you pick me up again.

Sounds like the two of you are really going at it. I didn’t know Zoro could make those noises. I really wish I could see what was causing them. Damn my lack of independent locomotion.

Oh, NOW you go looking for me. Now that it’s over and I missed everything. Don’t you “Boshi!” me, Mister Captain. I’m still mad at you.

****

“OW!”

“What?”

“Boshi bit me!”

“Hats don’t bite. You probably stabbed your finger on a loose piece of straw.”

“No, Boshi definitely bit me!”

“Aw, hell, Luffy, it’s barely bleeding. Put your goddamn pants back on before someone comes looking for us. The last thing I need is to hear Usopp screaming that he’s traumatized for life again.”

Luffy licked his bleeding finger and plopped his hat back on his head. Try as he might, he couldn’t quite shake the vague feeling of smugness radiating from his most beloved possession.

Comments

[nike-victory.livejournal.com]

I'm still amused that, despite the lack of mobility it was complaining about, Mugiwara Boshi still managed to bite Luffy.

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

I've been "bitten" by a straw hat before, so it's technically possible. Besides, if a gun can play fetch and fire baseballs, who's to say an angry straw hat can't bite someone with its little pointy straw teeth? XD

Unfortunately, it can't grow little straw legs. Poor hat.

[fenm.livejournal.com]

Yosh! I love Hat! Now someone needs to write a story where he gets to see the fun (don't look at me, I've got like five stories on the backburner). Hat! Yay!

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

So do I, but don't tell anyone. Kaja's going to bite me as it is for writing this instead of my part of our fic-art exchange. XD

[shuraiya.livejournal.com]

Man, I had to reread the opening paragraph like, five times before I realized it was Boushi talking. Being the Ben and Shanks fangirl that I am, I was delighted with the mention of them. XD

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

Part of me is tempted to write a prequel to this with Ben and Shanks and a less grumpy Boshi. And another part of me is tempted to write some other stories from the POV of other crewmember's possessions--Nami's log post, Sanji's shoes, Usopp's sniper goggles, Zoro's haramaki...

[dethorats]

The hat is a pervert! ^_^ Then again, considering its previous owner...

This was very clever and I feel the hat's pain from being deprived from all the good parts.

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Shanks could probably make a houseplant pervy just by watering it. Boshi had no chance.

[noodle6680.livejournal.com]

That is maybe the weirdest/sexiest thing I've read in .. forever.

It makes sense that Boshi is the sense of reason in Luffy's head.

-Nods-

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

I aim to please. O_o This one of the weirdest things I've read in a while.

[2metaldog.livejournal.com]

Good god but I love finding your shit first thing in the morning. I sooooo wish I could share the humour of this with someone in person. My co-workers would only look at me even more strangely than they already do if I were to tell them I just read this fab funny piece about Luffy's hat getting mad because it couldn't see the sexing. *snicker* This was crack-tastic.

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

If you ever do tell them something like that, take pictures. I want to see an officeful of people sweatdropping in unison. XD

[vampire-otaku.livejournal.com]

*claps excitedly* Bob the knowledge spirit ROCKS! Jim Butcher is one of my favorite authors...

Hehehe, watching Luffy and Zoro go at it is soooo much better than the occasional Victoria's Secret catalog or steamy romance novels. XD

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

YES! Another Jim Butcher fan. ^_______^

Oh yes. Live performance is so much better than canned.

[merewiper.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha! This cracked me up, seriously XD. Awesome!

[denimjo.livejournal.com]

I love your icon! Did you make that?

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

I'm going to be a sheep and join in on the icon love. Baaaaa.

...I don't know if you write One Piece, but if you do, I dare you to write a drabble about a day in the life of Ace's belt buckle.

[ptps.livejournal.com]

XD Boshi for teh win. lol the ShanksBen implications and the "yay for"s were hilarious.

And you should totally write a fic about Zoro's haramaki being seduced by Luffy's hat. XD; And then maybe some kind of crack hatxharamaki otp fic could result from it XD

[denimjo.livejournal.com]

Awww, what? Does Usopp's slingshot get no action? :-(

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

Hahaha that's crazy! Awesome ♥ I still frown upon anything other than ZoSanZo, BUT I will make the expcetion for you, since your stories are always so delightful!

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

What about 'Maki-chan lusting over Sanji's shoes? Does that count?

[crystal-chan.livejournal.com]

This is officially the most awesome thing ever. So original, and the fact that it's LuZo makes me happy. :3 See, the Hat is really Luffy's voice of reason! Too bad it didn't get to see any of the good stuff this time...

So much awesome! Great job~! <3

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

Boshi gets to see the good stuff most of the time. Sometimes from a bit closer than he would like. XD

[mango-32.livejournal.com]

Hey. HEY! Dumb swordsman, you put me too far back! I can’t see anything! Dammit!

Damn my lack of independent locomotion.

Bwahahahaha!!This is so hilarious. It took me halfway to realize who's POV you're writing from, splendid work.

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

I was trying to make it a bit ambiguous at first, because I love weird POVs like this.

[leafnin.livejournal.com]

I liked Ben better. Ben used to take me off and put me on a table or something, usually where I had a good view. Yay for Ben.

Good 'ol Ben, providing smut viewing for hats since '95 XDD

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

To quote Boshi, "Yay for Ben." XD

[neo-queen157.livejournal.com]

hehehehe Boshi likes the ZoLu smex.

This fic is love.

[lemonkitteh.livejournal.com]

This was awesome! >>; Just hope my Luffy hat doesn't get any ideas now. ^^;

[akari-hayashi.livejournal.com]

Aww... That's cute, and funny! But I sure don't wanna be in Boshi's position. Imagine getting tossed around and stabbed everywhere in battles...

[chibi-trillian.livejournal.com]

And nearly set on fire, and getting rained on, and dunked in the ocean, and smacked by Nami, and a hundred thousand other hazards of life on the sea. But hey, free porn. Good benefit.