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chibi_trillianShort chapter-let. There'll be another one up tonight or tomorrow, methinks.
Sanji's Uke-Uke Fruit Adventure: Part the Second and One-Half
Series: One Piece
One Piece: Not mine
Zoro wasn’t quite sure what was going on. This was nothing new, but usually his confusion was brought on by lack of information or an unexpected nap attack. In this case, Zoro was fairly certain he’d been awake the whole time and the weird effect Sanji was having on him was making quite sure that he paid attention from his rather crappy hiding spot.
True, Zoro had nothing against guys as far as sex went, and yes, Sanji had been a bit of a looker before and was downright pretty now, but Zoro had a firm policy against sleeping with rivals. That Sanji was also an arrogant prick who turned into a whiny mess for anything with tits had pretty much killed any chance of Zoro finding him attractive at any point in the near future, or so Zoro had thought.
Now, out of the clear blue sky, all Zoro wanted to do was cuddle Sanji until he calmed down, and then take him back to his hammock and show him Zoro’s skill with his fourth sword, the one he didn’t draw in public.
Zoro.
Cuddling.
Sanji.
The three were not meant to go together. The closest he could come up with was maybe defending the man’s back against a common enemy. “Me against my brother; my brother and I against the stranger,” and all that. No more than that, surely. Nevertheless, his libido was quite cheerfully insisting that finding out exactly how much Sanji’s body had changed was a fantastic idea, and the bad part was that most of his brain was agreeing.
Sanji let out a particularly heart-wrenching sob, and Zoro was halfway across the deck before he caught himself. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how one wants to look at it), Sanji seemed to have some near-psychic ability to detect his presence, for he darted across the remaining distance to attach himself to Zoro like a limpet and bury his face in Zoro’s plain cotton shirt.
Zoro was being clung to for the second time today.
Much to his increased confusion, he actually kind of liked it.
Sanji's Uke-Uke Fruit Adventure: Part the Second and One-Half
Series: One Piece
One Piece: Not mine
Zoro wasn’t quite sure what was going on. This was nothing new, but usually his confusion was brought on by lack of information or an unexpected nap attack. In this case, Zoro was fairly certain he’d been awake the whole time and the weird effect Sanji was having on him was making quite sure that he paid attention from his rather crappy hiding spot.
True, Zoro had nothing against guys as far as sex went, and yes, Sanji had been a bit of a looker before and was downright pretty now, but Zoro had a firm policy against sleeping with rivals. That Sanji was also an arrogant prick who turned into a whiny mess for anything with tits had pretty much killed any chance of Zoro finding him attractive at any point in the near future, or so Zoro had thought.
Now, out of the clear blue sky, all Zoro wanted to do was cuddle Sanji until he calmed down, and then take him back to his hammock and show him Zoro’s skill with his fourth sword, the one he didn’t draw in public.
Zoro.
Cuddling.
Sanji.
The three were not meant to go together. The closest he could come up with was maybe defending the man’s back against a common enemy. “Me against my brother; my brother and I against the stranger,” and all that. No more than that, surely. Nevertheless, his libido was quite cheerfully insisting that finding out exactly how much Sanji’s body had changed was a fantastic idea, and the bad part was that most of his brain was agreeing.
Sanji let out a particularly heart-wrenching sob, and Zoro was halfway across the deck before he caught himself. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how one wants to look at it), Sanji seemed to have some near-psychic ability to detect his presence, for he darted across the remaining distance to attach himself to Zoro like a limpet and bury his face in Zoro’s plain cotton shirt.
Zoro was being clung to for the second time today.
Much to his increased confusion, he actually kind of liked it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 01:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 06:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 04:38 am (UTC)Am I going out on a limb by guessing the changes include a self-lubing ass...?! *dies laughing* Zoro. Is. SO. Doomed.
(you should post this on an OP comm... *snerks*)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 06:20 am (UTC)I'm more than half-tempted, but:
a) I think that'd be a bit much for even Zoro to accept gracefully.
b) My inner Bio major would kill me.
c) I cannot for the life of me figure out a way to write a self-lubing ass into a sex scene gracefully. "Oh dear, Sanji, you make your own KY. How dreadfully convenient! I'm sorry that I ever thought your consumption of a Devil Fruit that warped your body and mind and gave you freakish powers was a bad thing. It means that we'll have to give One Piece Smut Cliche #45 a miss though--no olive oil for you!"
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 07:50 am (UTC)a) Zoro? Accept? Gracefully? *boggles* Is he so far? (I think it's just must-fuck targeting lock-on, personally...)
b) Um. Actual biology? In One Piece? *grins* Okay... okay... I understand. *pats you on the head carefully* There's always that final line we can't cross into total fantasy now isn't there? *backs away slowly*
c) ...And if you have Zoro say "How dreadfully convenient!" to Widdle Uke Sanji in ANY context -- much less in the middle of sex -- I'll probably pop a vein laughing and die right here in my computer chair like the sad, pathetic fangeek I am. ^^
*rubs chin thoughtfully* Hm. The thing about cliches is... everyday cooking olive oil is even more aromatic than sex and thick. They should totally go for the low-cholesterol safflower oil instead, 'cause, like, pirates have that on board all the time... *snerks*
I think Sanji's horror over finding himself, er, leaking? oozing? secreting? in such a way would be such delightfully evil torment... as if this isn't enough already! ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 02:06 pm (UTC)b) You have a point. When you're talking about a series where the main characters can do fucked-up things like stretching their arms a hundred feet or surviving getting cut in half with only the most rudimentary of medical care, biology doesn't really apply. Still, I refuse to give Sanji a mangina. It's the principle of the thing. This isn't a Gravitation Remix, after all.
c) Now I have to sneak it in. Except I keep hearing Zoro with an educated English accent when he says, "How dreadfully convenient!" so I don't know if I can stop giggling long enough to find a way to squeeze it into conversation.
Things I've seen Sanji get lubed up with: olive oil, vegetable oil, butter, spit, nothing (ow!). Maybe he ought to go for Crisco for some variety...or just buy some friggin' lube and get it over with, because with a face like his he's doomed to be the bottom 95% of the time.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-16 09:21 pm (UTC)And I can see the deliver-bird dropping Nami's paper and a bundle in her lap and her opening it up and rolling her eyes. "Sanji! Here's your mega-rush order of Wet!"
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-17 08:06 pm (UTC)*still snickering about what-the-fuckery, even a few chapters in*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-28 08:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-29 05:55 am (UTC)There, that's better, isn't it?